Emotions: Eyes That Only See Me
by NeoMiniTails
Summary: My name is Daisuke Motomiya, and I'm 18 years old, my final year of high school, lost and not trying to be I always said that I wanted people to only see me especially Ken Ichijouji and Hikari Yagami, but maybe I've always enjoyed the Maybe, I really am an I've met a girl named Rei Hino, beautiful and smart though I think she's as clueless as I


I can't exactly tell you how it happened, only the small details that seemed to happen along the way. I'm not even sure if I can say that I loved her, only that meeting her made me happy, if only in the slightest way.

I was a third year in high school, a typical muscled jock, you know the kind. They called me the "soccer king," "wrestling god," "the running back who controlled the very wind," and also "the idiot who let TK steal away the girl he never had." Girls, in general, flocked to me, and most guys wanted to be me although, in all honesty, I wanted to be someone else.

Though I kept my smile, unfading, there were days where I'd watch Ken and Miyako or TK and Hikari, and no matter how much I love them, I hated them because I wanted to be them. I could see myself fading away just like I was nothing more than a ghost in my own house, a ghost whose only escape route was playing soccer and letting the wind brush against me, the same ghost that Hikari made alive.

I'm not saying that I'm in love with her, in fact, I'm not sure if I've ever known what love is even when I was younger and assumed that I wanted her to be mine. I thought because I wanted her to be only with me that I must've loved her, but that couldn't be true because every time that I met a friend, this feeling overwhelmed me.

The same was true when I met Ichijouji Ken when I saw those sad eyes, eyes that once matched mine. I had never seen anyone look like that, not outside my house where my sister and I hid every tear in a bottle that overflowed long before we could find happiness. Unfortunately, for her, she couldn't find happiness though she tried so hard when she saw that I had friends.

I wonder if people knew what we'd been dealing with, at that time, if they'd been kinder to her. Sometimes I wonder what would've happened if she were the one that would've been destined to become a fighter for two worlds then I wonder if we could've done it together. There are times, though, even now, I dream of when I was in Elementary school and she was still in Middle School and we;d find the digimentals then leave, hide away from the real world, maybe become inhabitants of that world.

It would've been nice to show her that world.

Sorry, guess-I'm getting off track. Anyways, she died the same day that MaloMyotismon was defeated. I didn't know that dad returned home drunk a little before we had travel abroad and so he beat her when he couldn't find me. My mother took her to the hospital, but I guess with the digimon trouble, nothing was working enough to understand what was wrong with her.

You see, my father was a professional at not leaving bruises and my family were professional actors at pretending our home life was okay. My mother probably claimed she passed out again, but this time wouldn't come out of it.

And, this time, she never did come out of it.

It wasn't until after the battle of MaloMyotismon that I realized why I didn't have a vision of something that I really desired. At the time, my life was on its biggest high, having real friends that I could count on Even without Hikari, I knew that I had one true friend, one friend that I could count on.

I understood happiness because my friends taught me what it meant however I didn't truly understand sadness or fear because while everyone else would've looked at my life and pitied me, I didn't know any better. This was normal.

A drunk father that didn't come home unless he was pissed about losing something, a mother who lived in fear and the children who were taught to smile despite tribulations, these were things that I assumed every family had.

When everyone cheered for the victory for Earth, I didn't know what to do because for once, I was scared of not having answers. Sure, I'd been afraid of losing, but coming home and not seeing my sister taught me fear and true sadness.

I think that was the day that everything seemed to change. I think, for the first time, I felt truly lonely. Ken, Tk, Hikari along with everyone else were all there for me, but I wished that I never met anyone because if I hadn't and this happened, I wouldn't have felt so lonely. It would've probably became something normal for me.\

I learned that hard things only seem hard if you've learned how easy it could be.

Even so, Ken never gave up on me, and soon I learned how to truly smile again. He's always been there for me just as I've always been there for him-I don't think that could ever change but sometimes I feel like his newfound love for Yolei will do that. It's selfish, but I don't ever want her to interfere, just as I never wanted TK to interfere.

In the end, I only want everyone to just see me. At the same time, though, I want them happy and able to move one on, but what if moving on meant forgetting me? I don't want that. My dad, at one time, only saw us and we were happy, but then he changed, found happiness in his alcohol, he could see us but there were shadows over our faces, faces that he'd forgotten then he started to try to restructure them into faces he'd know.

The bell rang, interrupting my thoughts and like a zombie, I quickly got up, glancing to the left and right where both my best friend's coupled up immediately, Kari and Takeru blushing like some embarrassing anime couple on my right then even worse, Miyako seemed embarrassed as she presented Ken with a lunch that she made for him.

"Arigatou Miyako-chan," Ken said, a smile on his lips though his eyes looked stumped at what exactly she was trying to make. Glancing over his shoulder, I start to chuckle, and he looks back at me and gives me a death glare that says not to say anything but I pretend not to notice.

"What the hell is that?" I ask Miyako, not hiding my laugh as I took the chopsticks from Ken and raised some of the noodles(?) up to my nose, the smell indistinguishable, my stomach immediately hurting as a warning sign for the future of my best friend.

Miyako screamed as I expected and threw her textbook at me which I caught, just to annoy her some more. "Urusai Daisuke-kun! I made it with love so it's going to be delicious!" Her face turned red immediately after probably realizing how stupid she sounded as the class turned to look at her, a few girls (part of the Ichijouji fan club) in particular showed no humility, laughing loudly and saying something bad about her.

I glared at the group of girls. I may not get along with Miyako most of the time, but the only one that was allowed to make jerky remarks was a spot reserved only for me. It was an unwritten rule.

"Motomiya-san, sit down, please and leave Miyako-chan alone." I turn to see Hikari's hardened eyes and her mouth moving. Immediately, I sat down and watched as Takeru and her talked quietly among themselves, always in their own world. Sometimes, I wanted to be part of that world.

I sat there, concentrating on the honorific that she used on me, annoyed and a bit embittered. Haven't I known her long enough for her to use my first name and a more familiar honorific? Sighing, I look in my backpack for some money since I knew that I didn't have anything in my wallet; I spent the last of that money on my rent.

I pretended to look for my homework for the next class but something told me that Miyako picked up on what I was doing because I could see her from the side of my eye, I could see her take some money out of pocket, slide it into Ken's hands then whisper into his ear, and he slyly looked over, trying to make me not realize that they were talking about me. I, again, pretended not to notice then on other side, the other two were doing the same thing, this time with Takeru handing Hikari the money.

Immediately, I got up and walked out the classroom, grabbing my backpack, deciding that I should've followed my first decision of this morning to ditch. I smiled and waved a peace sign to the four of them, but the two with money both followed me outside the door.

"Daisuke-kun," Ken started saying as he reached out to me, but it wasn't his hand that grabbed my wrist, it was Hikari's hand as she used the other hand to open mine's and placed a familiar paper into my hand.

"You really shouldn't leave right now, Motomiya-san." She practically sounded like she was begging, the same voice she used with me since Jun died, the same voice that she used when she told me that she made the decision to go out with Takeru. I hate that voice because it means that she pities me. She doesn't see me the same as when we first met.

I have always been okay being considered the idiot, sure, I got annoyed by it, but at least, back then, they weren't always watching me.

"Hey, if you need some money for lunch, we got you today." A new voice joined them, it was Takeru, his typical smile planted on his face. It was genuine; I could feel it. "You can just pay us back later."

"Thanks guys, but I'm fine." I smiled as I always smiled. Even after all these years, the smile that I thought was real but was really my innate ability to protect my heart from everyone, it came out as genuine as everybody else's smile.

"Man, Motomiya-san is always smiling! He's so lucky to always be so happy-go-lucky." I hear a group of people say as they walked past us. They obviously didn't feel the tension. I'm probably too good at smiling like this, but I don't mind. It's who I am, just as they are who they are.

"Anyways, TJ... you guys should finish eating. Lunch isn't that long." I said with a laugh as I handed Hikari back her money and watched as Ken frowned, probably not fooled by my smile. He knows me better than anyone.

I could see Hikari look worried, but at the same time, she seemed pleased by my answer.

"I kind of wish that I could leave too." Takeru chuckled only to be elbowed on the side by Hikari who didn't seem very happy with his being okay with me ditching.

The two make their exit from the hall as I turn around to leave but am stopped again, this time by Ken.

A group of girls pasts us, giggling, saying something weird about me and him, but I pretend like I don't hear them.

"Daisuke-kun," Ken said, his eyes shifting as he looked around then at his feet then finally at me, then continued, "let's walk home together after school, okay?"

I mentally laughed. He always was the most practical of all my friends besides Iori so his suggestion was the easiest way to keep me in class today. Not saying anything, I only smiled and let him continue.

"I mean, today has nice weather, and our favorite show comes on so we can watch it at my house, if you'd like."

"Ken, we can do that next week, right?"

"Daisuke," he said, losing the honorific, anger in his tone. It seemed he was much more comfortable now. "You can't keep ditching; you don't want to be held back, do you?"

I smirked then laughed. "You're worried about me, Ken?" Petting his head, I whispered something about he had some nasty food to finish eating that was made with love, his face slightly red, possibly from thinking of the food or embarrassment. "I'm worried about your stomach. I gotta go though. See ya tomorrow, kay?"

Then, without another word, I walked off, walking past the professor, giving him a peace sign, letting him know that I was leaving. He scowled and muttered something about having to be nice to useless students even when they're lost causes.

He sounded like my father so I just smiled and kept on going. He was probably right about me being a lost cause, but I will find a cause to make myself found. I won't always be a lost cause, that's what seemed to go through my mind.

Now that I think about it, I wondered if I used to think that by being friends with Hikari and Ken, I would finally see myself as found and as something more than just the idiot that was good at sports. Man, I really can be an idiot, thinking that they could change anything. Why didn't I realize that things would have to change eventually?

I love them all, but I feel like I hate them at the same time. I'm envious of them all. I want to be able to smile like I had seen Takeru smiling earlier; I want to do that and be so genuine. I want someone like Miyako and Takeru, just as Ken and Hikari have, somebody who loves them and only them, only seeing them.

I asked both Ken and Hikari about what it felt like when they were with them, and they both said something different but their tone was so cool, so in awe, so happy-something that I could never fake. I want to feel that way and be able to shove it in all their faces one day like they do to me, everyday. Gawd, why do they have to sit on both sides of me.

I feel like I'm stuck in a foursome where I'm not even getting any enjoyment from-where I can neither join or watch. Man, they sicken me.

Like an idiot, thinking about my imagination, I threw off the imaginary dirt off my body from the nonexistent foursome in my imagination.

I drove around the city until I was in front of Azabu-Juuban district in Tokyo, wanting to visit the only arcade still around and have some of it's favorite milkshakes when I finally saw her.

Staring, I became like every other guy, I'm sure. I could remember seeing her once before when I was a first year and for whatever reason, the governor was visiting our school for about a week and he had taken his daughter with him, wanting her to be able to speak with the students and get to know them.

Taichi-sempai had taken a liking to her though I could see that although she had been being nice, she wasn't interested in him or anybody else.

I wanted to speak to her back then, but there was a suffocating air about her that I couldn't shake off, maybe it was her coldness in her smile, the smile that I memorized from back when Ken was the Digimon Kaiser.

Still, I wanted to get a good look at her in this element with the cameras around her, the nineteen year old uninterested in the fame. Even now, she looked so aristocratic with those royal violet eyes and fair skin, that dark black hair going past her waist, silky and smooth with purple shines in her hair.

I sat with my back to a tree, trying to appear that I was texting someone though it was clear that I was out of my element, being that I was too young to be out of class, my school uniform on though I took the jacket off and left it in the car. I looked down at my shirt, wishing that I had requested a size bigger now since it was football season, and I've been making crazy bulking gains and the white shirt was practically clinging to my muscles. To be honest, as much as I love to brag, it was kind of embarrassing.

The cameras were still following her, and she kept walking with her head up, her eyes closed but then I saw her stop and glare at me and for some reason, it didn't feel as threatening as it should've been. I don't know what it was, but I felt myself blushing, a strange sensation coming over me.

Rather than pretending to not stare at her, I followed her from the sidelines as I watched her sighing as she quietly asked them to stop asking anymore questions about her father's political campaign.

Then, I saw it again, her eyes looking at me. I knew I wasn't crazy when I saw her looking at me the first time albeit glaring, but her eyes were different this time, it seemed pleading.

Again, I found myself blushing when she looked at me. This time, I understood why I liked it so much because for the first time, I saw someone like me but for one non withholding moment, I saw genuine emotion.

"Hey pretty girl!" I yelled without thinking, a smirk on my face as she turned to see me, her eyes disgusted by the nickname. "Man, I told you to take the other way if we're gonna meet at Crown's Parlor; that way the paparazzi won't catch you!"

Instead of glaring, she smiled slightly as the crowd turned against her and went after me. To my surprise, she didn't leave but rather stood there, arms crossed with an interested smile on her face then after waiting fifteen minutes, she walked around the crowd.

However, it was the next moment that surprised me the most, she grabbed onto my arm roughly with a smile (if only for a moment, on her lips) then said, "Daisuke-kun, I trust that you have lots of things planned for us?"

My eyes widened, a fear and shock overcoming my soul yet there was this heat in my chest that I couldn't explain. How did she know my name? Was it my imagination?

I must've stood there like an idiot for some time because she frowned deeply and said, "Daisuke-kun, like you said, I must've made you wait so lets go."

"Y-yeah, pretty lady."

She smirked and then I realized that she was a better actress than i was. "Baby, I told you to call me Rei-chan!"

I didn't know it at the time, but meeting her would be the best and worst thing to ever happen to me.

**Author's Note:**

_**This story was made in order to be a bit of challenge for me. I wanted to do a story about Daisuke and Rei Hino from his perspective which will serve as a deconstruction of his character. Rei Hino is based on the manga version of her character who is very different from the anime version though I will add elements of her personality in the anime into it also.**_

_**I hope everyone enjoys the story. Tell me what you think. Review, please!**_

_**Terms explained:**_

_**Urasai means shut up in Japanese**_

_**Arigatou means thank you.**_


End file.
